Today I reached my first personal goal on Instagram, and that was reaching 500 followers. That’s pretty cool to me no matter what anyone says. I’m an ordinary transgender woman from a hick town, and 500 people are interested in my pictures? Damn right I’m excited!
Did my picture and name get dropped into a stadium full of men and women who are single and horny? When I finally got around to turning my computer on, and opened Facebook I had 24 friend requests. Okay, that’s not that many I know, but they didn’t stop. When I went active they wouldn’t stop. By the time I could get one accepted, or declined, five more would come in. Before I ran with my, you know what tucked between my legs I had accepted 361 new friends. That’s unbelievable to me, and I just checked and I have 99+ sitting in my friends box. Not sure what’s going on, but I’m okay with it. Most of them are perverted, and they get blocked, but I now have a nice pool of men to choose from when I’m ready to move on, that is if one of them knows how to treat a lady. What I can’t stand, and I’ve already blocked a bunch of people for, is two things, one is, not even saying hello, and just sending a nasty picture, or video of something sexual. Second, immediately calling me as soon as I accept their request. It’s like HELLO!! We need to talk and exchange pleasantries before I speak to you on the phone. As soon as either one of these two things happen I block them. It seemed like everyone that I accepted wanted to talk, I just couldn’t keep up with everyone, and I started getting overwhelmed, so I did what I needed to do and closed the page.
I then went to Twitter, where it was much calmer. I like Twitter, but I don’t spend as much time there. I started using both Twitter, and Instagram in December of last year, and I still only have 190 followers on Twitter. If there is a better way to gain followers, other than how I’ve been doing it, I need to learn that way. Maybe tonight after my journal entry I’ll do some research and find that out. As I said, I really don’t devote much time to Twitter, but the more I use it the more I like it. Tonight I saw a tweet on this stupid corona virus scare, and I had to say my two cents. I’m sure when I go check, I’m going to have some nasty comments, but you know what? I don’t give a damn. It’s my Twitter and I can say what I want to.
Instagram on the other hand I LOVE, other than the same issues with all social media platforms. If I want to talk, or want to see your genitals I’ll ask for that to happen, otherwise you’re getting blocked. Today I reached my first personal goal on Instagram, and that was reaching 500 followers. That’s pretty cool to me no matter what anyone says. I’m an ordinary transgender woman from a hick town, and 500 people are interested in my pictures? Damn right I’m excited!
More importantly, is that I’ve met two really special guys on Instagram. One of these gentlemen has been supporting me and my photos since day one. I think he may have been my first follower or second. Still with me, and supporting me, I’ve grown very fond of him, and appreciate him very much. We usually speak daily, and if not, it’s every other day. He told me tonight that he’s missed seeing me around. Only if I didn’t have to sleep. The second gentleman is special to me as well. I’ve had people leave messages and comments in other languages before, but if the site doesn’t translate the message, I usually like it and move on. Well, for some reason when this gentleman left his first comment about three weeks ago, something told me to translate it. I don’t know why I did, but I’m sure glad I decided to. Now I translate every message, and we talk every day usually. It’s not the compliments or support that get me, it is totally the words he uses, and the way he speaks to me that I adore. He’s of an older age range, I think quite a bit older than me, but I’m still moved. I want to ask him his age, but I feel like that would be wrong of me, and really it doesn’t matter. There have been a lot of men tell me that they love me on these social media platforms, and I’ve yet to believe one of them. How can you love someone merely looking at a picture? Mister told me yesterday that he was bothered, because he was in love with me, and didn’t understand how. He would be the first man to say it, and I actually kind of believe him. I’m not running off to a foreign country or anything, but I’m going to keep this gentleman company on the internet highway as long as he wants me. Who knows what could happen? I’m sure not shutting any doors.
There are a lot of scammers on Instagram, but I’ve learned how to pinpoint them before they even speak. Now when I call them out for using the exact same story as the scammer before them, they just come right out and ask for gift cards. It cracks me up. One guy who was talking to me for a while seemed really nice, the first time we spoke on the phone this dude asked me to go to the bank, and take out a loan for thousands of dollars, and send the money to him. WHAT THE F**K! Do you think I’m crazy? I just hung up and blocked his butt.
I slept most of the day today probably because I didn’t go to bed until like four a.m. this morning. Waking up around ten a.m. to use the restroom, and get something to drink, then I laid right back down, and slept till eight p.m. When I woke up to potty, I did check my phone to see if Nicholas had messaged yet, but he hadn’t. Finally, awake for the day, or should I say night, I went straight for my phone. Nicholas messaged around eleven a.m. so I messaged him back. I’m glad that I was asleep most of the day, if I had been awake this morning I would have been staring and waiting for his message like an idiot, and wouldn’t have gotten one till almost noon. I always do this for some reason, and he made sure I did it anyway this evening. Within five minutes of messaging him, he messaged right back. I was completely surprised that he was responsive so quick, but I’ll take it. He said I’m here, and told me that he was just putting clothes away. When he told me that he doesn’t mate his socks, or fold his underwear I felt immediately sad. I used to take care of his clothes, and now he has no one to do this for him. I thought for sure after he put his clothes away that we were going to chat a minute, boy was I wrong. He never messaged back. Not one word.
Nine day’s have passed since Nicholas and I started talking again, and with each passing day we talk less and less. The days of “good morning squish” are over, and the dream of a good night at bedtime is squashed. When he got out of the hospital he told me that the reason why he made contact was to tell me what he had just gone through. This confused me at first, but everyone around me said that when people think they are gonna die, it makes them want to reach out to the ones they love the most. This made me feel good, but now I’m confused by it. Why is it as each day passes since he said his first words to me that we talk less and less? To me it’s a head game that I’m not going to play for much longer. Already pissed at him yesterday for not wanting to just hear what I had to say about this stupid virus scare, today has sent me over the edge. Back to “no expectations”, and “not caring”, because that’s obviously his mindset. There is something I need to think about too, because it’s confused me since the last time we were talking, and I was informed of his future plans, If, ….we are supposed to meet up, somewhere in the future, when something specific happens, why are we not in the same type of relationship we were in when we first met? We lived apart then, yet we were SO close to one another. NOTHING like today. As soon as I wrote that I knew my answer. It’s because of his manipulative and controlling mother, well his entire family for that matter. I’m done with this topic for today because it infuriates me, and disgusts me!!
Born October 11th, 1975 in a small township in Missouri. Reared by a stay-at-home mom and a furniture factory working stepdad. With three siblings plus myself all my parents could afford was a simple existence, but I wouldn’t exchange those days with anyone or for nothing. I’m second to the oldest child with an older sister who is three years my senior. A brother who is three years younger than me, and our baby sister who is three years younger than my brother. Twenty days after my twenty-first birth on Halloween 1996, we suffered the loss of our precious mother. Our lives were altered instantly. Nothing for me has been normal since. I've found a "new" normal yet it's nowhere near the same. When 2020 began, my mother was extremely near, and she hadn't left. It will be soon, and I'll be in her arms again.
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