Ringmaster of My Crazy Circus
Am I suffering from writer's block or an emotional block? Welcome to my three-ring circus.
Nadia Mazonis
Born October 11th, 1975 in a small township in Missouri. Reared by a stay-at-home mom and a furniture factory working stepdad. With three siblings plus myself all my parents could afford was a simple existence, but I wouldn’t exchange those days with anyone or for nothing. I’m second to the oldest child with an older sister who is three years my senior. A brother who is three years younger than me, and our baby sister who is three years younger than my brother. Twenty days after my twenty-first birth on Halloween 1996, we suffered the loss of our precious mother. Our lives were altered instantly. Nothing for me has been normal since. I've found a "new" normal yet it's nowhere near the same. When 2020 began, my mother was extremely near, and she hadn't left. It will be soon, and I'll be in her arms again.
Emotionally Discombobulated
Today would of been my mother's 65th Birthday if she were still with us. . .
Enough Is Enough
My heart simply won't let go doing it any other way, so it's back to what works for me. As harsh as it may be, it's what I must do to preserve who I am on the inside.
All Wrapped Up
Like a warm blanket wrapped around my body, when I read his poem I felt a very specific feeling. Now I'm hopeful that. . .
Only For The Chance
Dr. MLKJ said it best. "Our Lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter" When searching for the imagery for this entry, I became sick. It's a disgrace that they claim to protect the children, then under the surface of lies and mistrust do something evil, sick, and twisted with them all for a profit.
When I’m Ready
Within two bleak days my entire emotional core would be snuffed out. Causing me to feel like. . . .
It Is What It Is
Honestly, I believe I’ve had enough of the vicious emotional games that most ghastly men try to play. From the foolish ones, those who think it’s okay for them to behave a certain way . . .
Powerful
Yet again, no response when I reached out to Nicholas. What we once had was powerful and . . . .
I Dodged A Bullet
Dodging bullets is not an easy thing to realistically achieve. However, I've carefully managed to dodge two of them already this miserable year. First with Mark, now with Ricardo. We both knew we undoubtedly had an up hill battle if we genuinely wanted to be together. We each admittedly had an obstacle, mine being emotional, and his being obligational. All it would merely take was one of us being unable to cope adequately with the other's specific situation, and it would be over. Not surprisingly, he quit and gave up.
Evanescing Emotions
After a two day relentless flood of excessive emotions and pent-up feelings, I evanesced into a world of technology and optimization. The familiar sound of a voice which caused the wound on my heart to bleed yesterday, happened to be the same sound today that comforted me. Why did William . . .
