My sister Lou has not been herself lately. She retains it in her head that she’s the only one of mothers children who act like an adult. Who has to take care of her brother and sisters. Yeah, she takes care of my younger brother who is, well never mind. He’s not in this but if he were he’d be right up Lou’s ass. Regardless, she’s prancing around on a tall horse talking herself up as if she has to rescue and take care of her three siblings. This is ludicrous and bizarre thinking on her part.
It’s now 10:09 p.m. on Thursday evening. Knowing how slow I am, it’s going to take me until the wee hours of the morning to finish this journal entry.
For the entire day or so it seemed, I worked on my journal website. Changing the design theme to make it easier for people to navigate through. I really liked how it looked, but I was looking for something cleaner in style. In the end I was pleased with how it all turned out, however getting to the end wasn’t so simple. When I set about doing this task this morning, I thought it was going to be as simple as picking out what I wanted and activating it. Starting out as simple as that, but in the end I had to reformat and practically redo all 7 pages of my Journal. Working with WordPress is getting easier and easier, and I really love it. I’d say the only thing that I’m unsatisfied with is that to like a journal entry or post, you have to have a WordPress account. When I spoke to support about this, they tried comparing it to liking a Facebook post. No account, you can’t like it. Fine I get that, but when a client of yours pays nearly $100 for their own .com domain ANYONE should be able to like it. Anyone who freely goes to my website. The gentleman didn’t thoroughly comprehend this and all he could assert was that he’d inform staff of my complaint. At the end of our conversation, before we disconnected, the gentleman had informed me of a way around this rule. He informed me that if I use the ratings feature for pages and posts that anyone with or without a WordPress account could vote. Swaying my head back and forth, all I could do was a laugh. Why have a rule then include a feature around this rule? There are times that I absolutely don’t understand people.
After I was done rebuilding all seven out of eight pages to my journal, the first thing I did was go and look at it from a guest point of view. I LOVED it! After I doing that, I began looking at the stats and other things in WordPress. Looking up in the upper right corner, I noticed the 18 was now a 17. This indicated one thing and that was that I lost a follower. Thinking I knew who it was I headed to that page to check it out. Of course I was right. Not sure of the name but the christian blogger who used to follow me was now gone. Using a bad word or two every now and then, and my point of view on many things, I knew it was only a matter of time. Laughing it off, I told myself I needed to start watching what words I use. Who knows maybe a minor might be reading this. One thing I won’t change is my point of view or opinion on whatever topic I decide to discuss.
While I was working on my journal, my sister Catina was down at Lou Lou’s house. As I very much enjoy, I was sitting at my desk clicking and tapping away at the computer. Suddenly Catina is at the front door loudly knocking. Jumping up, I rushed to the door to make sure she was okay because the way she knocked made me think the worst. Everything seemed fine with her, but when she spoke I could tell her voice was trembling. Catina lent one of Lou Lou’s friends 15 dollars. The girl was supposed to run down to the gas station to get change for $20, so she could give Catina her $5 back. Well, what should have been a 15-minute trip turned out to be an all day affair.
The money wouldn’t show up until later this evening, but my sisters and I were now at a total meltdown. Catina and I were convinced there was shady business going on. We both are still convinced that if we hadn’t jumped on Lou Lou to contact her friend and get her in check, Catina probably would have never seen her money. Sure, it is only $5 but with the way everything is now, Catina really could use it. Then there is the fact that it was our sister’s friend who was doing Catina wrong. This should be on Lou Lou to get a hold of her to find out why she didn’t do what she stated she was going to do with NO excuses. No damn landlords are calling or milk maids milking. Next there was the inevitable, my car broke down. Horse poop! If the broad would have done what she said she was going to, none of this would have happened.
Once I was intune with the situation, I called my sister. I overheard Catina talking to her, no screaming at one another and Lou Lou didn’t give two shits because it wasn’t her getting ripped off. This sent anger shooting through my body. This was her friend and it’s her place to deal with it. When I called, she kept hitting the ignore button. The more she did this the more I was getting annoyed. She comprehended what she had coming and she I bet didn’t want to hear it. Ultimately, she answered. Instead of talking, we immediately started to yell. Yelling so loudly I honestly couldn’t tell you one word that she said, but I assure you she heard every word I did. She was “cleaning” her room. I’m not being trite, but come on Lou Lou, look at your surroundings. It’s not like you’re the cleaning type anyway. So busy cleaning that she couldn’t make right what HER friend did to her OWN sister. Bull crap.
My sister Lou Lou has not been herself lately. Thinking that she’s the only one of our mothers children who act like an adult is just insane. She actually thinks that she has to take care of her brother and sisters. Too funny. Yeah, she takes care of our brother who is, well never mind. He’s not in this but if he were he’d be right up Lou Lou’s ass. Regardless, she’s prancing around on a tall horse talking herself up as if she has to rescue and take care of her three siblings. This is ludicrous and bizarre thinking on her part. As a matter of fact she’s acting like a stressed out anxious 3 year old who had to sit on the Easter bunny’s lap and is terrified. I’m not going into who’s’ done what for who. When our mother died the rest of our worthless family pretty much said screw the four of us. We are all that one another have. I’m 100% sure this is due to financial stress from the quarantine from the coronavirus. What Lou Lou needs to realize is that she’s not the ONLY one who is stressed and FREAKED out. It’s not all about her. I’m stressed and Catina is stressed. I’m certain my brother is too wherever he is. What we can’t allow to happen is for that stress and anxiety to push us apart. We are more resilient as a foursome than we are 4 separate individuals. When I was screaming at Lou Lou on the phone like most people when they are heated, I declared something that I didn’t exactly mean. I’ve sincerely apologized and thankfully my sister willingly accepted it.
Catina received her money, and around 4:30 p.m. she and I headed out to the store. While we were gone, I noticed that Sonic and Mcdonald’s was open. It seems like it’s realistically been years since I’ve enjoyed fast food, but my well-founded fear would not allow me to pull through and order. As tempting as it was I passed both places and headed to the bank before heading home. Darlene texted early this morning typically wanting the rent. Afraid of the coronavirus herself, she wisely said she was coming up with a plan for us to carefully transfer the money to her. Something about placing it in an envelope and stashing it somewhere. Who knows what she’ll come up with, we will just have to see. This is just another reminder that this virus is being blown out of proportion. It seems like they are making things up as they go along, having more deaths, more cases, just to sensationalize it. The whole idea that China is now 5th in the world for total cases is outrageous, and the United States is number one? There is most certainly something suspicious going on. They lied and the media, of course, helped them.
As usual when I start thinking about this virus and the barefaced lies that are going on just to make certain numbers skyrocket infuriates me. Why? Because I know why they are doing it. The elites and the corporate media want a one world government to handle a situation that was caused on purpose. This is totally intentional and deliberate. I’m saying one or two more things then I’m done with this subject. First, there were more suicide deaths in the state of Tennessee yesterday than coronavirus deaths. And lastly, 30 miles away from me two bank employees contracted it and all they were told to do? Go home and rest. For MOST people who contract this super flu, like any flu, you stay home and take care of it. You heal and it’s all gone. Some people don’t even get ill from it, they say. But they become a spreader. It’s completely ignorant. It’s hard for me to talk about it any more because it’s becoming comical.
After my argument with my sister, for some reason, I needed to talk to my ex. As I was unblocking his number, I hesitated because I had an odd feeling. Having second thoughts, I sat the phone down to make sure I definitely wanted to do this. Still really angry at my sister I needed to talk to him so ultimately I unblocked him. Once I messaged him, as I expected I didn’t get a reply right away. Since he hadn’t up to this point messaged me since being blocked I knew it would take him a minute to decide what he was going to do.
After the day I’ve had emailing JP would end my day like it started on a firm foot. When I messaged, I felt kind of odd but in a familiar place. I didn’t go into much, just apologized for my being distant and explained briefly why I’ve been silent for the previous couple or few weeks. I’m apprehensive about what he’s going to reply, if he replies at all, but I eagerly wait to see. I’m hoping our friendship can pick back up where it left off but I’ll let him decide that. It will totally be up to him and his wishes.
The first thing I told Wolfie today was that I unblocked my ex and messaged him. I explained to him it was because I was upset and angry. He tried laughing it off, but I could sense it might have bothered him just a little. My memory is terrible and lately it’s even worse, so I can’t remember exactly what he said. However, it was something about “ I guess when you’re angry you want to talk to your ex.”I’ve busted my brains all day trying to figure out why this was. In all sincerity it wasn’t to talk about anything other than me venting about Lou Lou. Finally, at some point this evening I knew exactly why it was. For no other reason than I knew he couldn’t stand my sister as well. I wanted to talk to someone who was going to be complaining about her and not defend her, so he was the ideal person.
After I told Wolfie that I’d messaged my ex and he said what he did I felt terrible. Undeniably I shouldn’t be feeling any guilt at this point but I did. I’m certain that when I informed him that I would only turn to him now, that he was thinking to himself “sure right” but it’s true. One day he will recognize and consider what the hell he did to get all my emotions and venting poured his way. I indeed hope he can take it. I’m a handful, yes indeed. But when I fall in love, I love for an extremely extensive time and love really hard. When I fall in love the emotions that will bind, our souls will be deep. I’ll attach a vision or a memory to every word or every minute thing that you do. I’ll be waiting for your message in the morning and constantly remember I’m your bubbles.
Born October 11th, 1975 in a small township in Missouri. Reared by a stay-at-home mom and a furniture factory working stepdad. With three siblings plus myself all my parents could afford was a simple existence, but I wouldn’t exchange those days with anyone or for nothing. I’m second to the oldest child with an older sister who is three years my senior. A brother who is three years younger than me, and our baby sister who is three years younger than my brother. Twenty days after my twenty-first birth on Halloween 1996, we suffered the loss of our precious mother. Our lives were altered instantly. Nothing for me has been normal since. I've found a "new" normal yet it's nowhere near the same. When 2020 began, my mother was extremely near, and she hadn't left. It will be soon, and I'll be in her arms again.