Being in love with someone who is no longer in love with you should be easy to move past. However, for myself it's impossible it seems. Lying to myself and stuffing emotions elsewhere didn't work, because subconsciously it all was there under a brilliant script of excellent acting. When I heeded Nicks familiar voice on a personal video for the first time in 5 bleak months, I couldn't contain it any longer. A distinctive sound not forgotten, rather blocked out to shelter myself from the unbearable pain of my bleeding heart.
I can’t wait to make you mine and give you the life you deserve. It makes me sad you don’t know how amazing you are!! You made me feel again!! Over the internet baby!! No one has ever made me feel like you have. NO ONE!! I tease you and say it’s voodoo, but it’s really just unexplainable how much I feel for you. I don’t know how to explain my feelings about you. I know what I should say, but we just met. And we haven’t even met in person.
Now I endure this on top of everything else that's going through my brain to stress and worry about. Like I want to go to a doctors office or hospital where people are ill. Knowing my luck so far today, I’d catch the coronavirus. Hopefully, it doesn’t continue to swell, but if it does I guess I know where I’m going in the next few days
What I enjoy most of all is the feeling of optimism. I’ve been so down for the past three months that it seemed like my world was crashing down around me. Being optimistic is such a wonderful feeling to my soul, and I’m starting to feel comfortable being alone.
Yesterday I was forcibly placed into the Friend Zone and told I should be content with staying just his friend. Therefore, this morning I didn't expect to get a text or anything. That's not how "friends" operate, correct? I did however think he would say hello at some point today. Maybe share with me his new drivers license that he got today? I thought he would be excited about finally being a New Jersey resident again.