Tag journal

the place that I write my thoughts and emotions

Evanescing Emotions

Swirling Smoke with butterflies fluttering about on a black back ground. The smoke represents evanescing into thin air.
After a two day relentless flood of excessive emotions and pent-up feelings, I evanesced into a world of technology and optimization. The familiar sound of a voice which caused the wound on my heart to bleed yesterday, happened to be the same sound today that comforted me. Why did William . . .

My Bleeding Heart

My Heart is Bleeding for You black and read picture of a bloody heart
Being in love with someone who is no longer in love with you should be easy to move past. However, for myself it's impossible it seems. Lying to myself and stuffing emotions elsewhere didn't work, because subconsciously it all was there under a brilliant script of excellent acting. When I heeded Nicks familiar voice on a personal video for the first time in 5 bleak months, I couldn't contain it any longer. A distinctive sound not forgotten, rather blocked out to shelter myself from the unbearable pain of my bleeding heart.

A Small Gesture

Boy and Girls hands each holding a phone. Texting one another with pink and red hearts floating up from the phones.
Every so often it's the insignificant things that sincerely mean the most. It was around lunch time when my mobile phone rang, and on the other end Wolfie was calling. Absolutely surprised, I picked up the phone naturally assuming he was taking his lunch break. Recently, I've had the feeling that he and I were drifting apart, with an enormous mountain looming in front of us. This afternoon those foolish feelings would change. This small gesture instantly made those feeling go away.

3 Day Whirlwind

Good evening, it’s presently 9:35 p.m. on Monday the 6th of April. This journal entry is since Saturday the 4th, Sunday the 5th, and today Monday the 6th of April. It has been undoubtedly a whirlwind the past three days. Saturday and Sunday I felt completely lost, last night I dealt with many family dramas, and today has been chaos. I’m thinking people are starting to lose their flipping minds.

Goals and 1k Followers

As the numbers began to climb, I set my initial goal at 500 followers. Exactly 3 months later from the day I started using Instagram on March 16th I made it to my first set goal. For some reason I thought that every 500 followers gained would take 3 months since the first 500 followers required that long to obtain.

Whoosah

Image Credit: Pixabay Going to bed at 1 a.m. Monday morning and waking up at 4 a.m. Wednesday morning you’d think I was sufficiently set.  Then why is it that all I can think about is passing back out? The first thing on my mind, when I finally became conscious, was this coronavirus and Wolfman. While I was asleep, I had a nightmare that my nephew who is in foster care contracted this horrible virus. Afraid…

Game Over

game over lead graphic on my favorites page hearts tore apart
Both of these were forcing me to feel like a different person than I’ve been the past few weeks. Wolfie and I have been so happy and content with one another, why did my ex have to come in and mess that up for me? Last night when he sent me the photos I tried to act like they didn’t mean anything. Telling myself they were in fact a part of my past, but no longer represented my future.